#reactionwednesday: That's a shame, you're so pretty!

This past week I had an awkward experience with a patron at the youth reference desk. She came in to apply for a volunteer position. We're always looking for volunteers, and since she is a retired school teacher, the man at circulation sent her to me to chat. This is how our conversation went.

Her: Hi, my name is so-and-so, and I'm looking to voluntee- OH MY GOD what happened to your nose?!
Me: Oh, nothing, it's been like that for over 10 years, it's nothing.
Her: It looks like someone punched you!
Me: Oh?
Her: Yeah, I'm about ready to offer to punch them back, and it's a shame, you're such a pretty girl!
Me: Heh heh...

A few things, if you've just met someone, you don't bring up facial deformities. Now, she's lucky. I love my nose scar, and I never try to hide it under make-up. I honestly don't think I look like me when it's covered or photoshopped out of photographs. Hell, I told the make-up artist on my wedding day to not cover it up. BUT if someone was less comfortable or more sensitive with their scars, making a comment like that is just awful. Especially if it's the second thing you say to someone. You don't do that. It's just plain rude. Also, that's a shame, you're such a pretty girl is a pretty shitty thing to say to anyway. Does my scar make me ugly? If I didn't have it, would I be prettier? Perfection isn't real, and to point out that my scar doesn't fit your ideal beauty standards, and to presume that because of that, it makes me any less pretty, is ridiculous.

I posted on my facebook about it, and got some really great comments, and I'd like to share:

Something like this happened this past Monday as well. A dance mom asked what happened to my nose, and I said, "Oh nothing recently. Something happened 15 years ago, but now that's just how my face looks!" I think that might be my go-to from now on.